Money. No-one likes talking about it.
No-one ever said that being an au pair was a way to get rich quick. Yes you are paid, but part of your payment comes in the form of your bed, food, and use of the washing machine. While this is amazing and incredibly generous on behalf of the family, it is difficult to convert into cold hard cash. In a city like Paris, where life is pretty expensive, that can be a problem for a young person who wants to see it all. I was getting by on my payments, not seeing everything, but seeing at least one interesting thing a week, when I got a shock.
On one of my last blog posts, someone mentioned that they felt I was being underpaid for the amount of work I do. A quick survey of other au pair friends and colleagues on my French course confirmed that I was being paid at least 5€ less a week than anyone else, in some cases 10€ less. That's when I finally sat back and thought about money seriously.
When you sign a contract with a family the only advice on payment that you receive is a guideline from the French Government on the minimum payment as dictated by law. What is harder to find out, without sounding creepy and messaging multiple au pairs on Facebook, is what the actual rate of payment is. This is something you can only find out when you get to Paris and hear from other au pairs how they are paid.
Partly I think this is because money is actually hard to quantify in terms of value when you move somewhere new. 75€, the amount I was offered by my family, sounds like a substantial amount, but that is without me having lived in Paris which, as I have said, is very expensive. Hey, I come from a European country with an entirely different currency. 75€ is equivalent to £53 a week - not much. The family agreed to pay my Navigo costs and they are great about making sure that they buy me toothpaste, shampoo, and any food I would like. The issue is that somewhere like Paris (where even national Museums have entrance fees) 75€ is a week is going to limit the amount you can do. You can't get lunch with your language partner and hit the museums at the weekend with enough to buy yourself a new jumper now that it's getting colder. First world problems? Yes! But Paris is a first world city with first world costs, and I want to get the most out my cultural experience here. Plus I am a 25 year old adult with interests, hobbies, and passions. There is only so much enjoyment I can derive from watching all the children's French language disney films. After working a 30 hour week with screaming kids, I don't just want to go out and see Paris, I need to get out the house. My sanity is at stake!
The second difficulty with regard to wages as an au pair, is that you have to stand back and critically assess how much you are worth. I can't speak for other people, but for me this was, and remains, a deeply uncomfortable process. Perhaps I have low self esteem. Perhaps my inherently British self-deprecation is making me resist it, but it is something I had to do.
Every family is different, and has different demands. There are many au pairs who do not work weekends, and many who do. There are many who work mornings, and many who don't. Some au pairs care for 1 child, some care for 4. some have a room in the house, some have a studio apartment far away from the family (and the noise). This great variety of needs is one of the things that makes assessing your worth in cash difficult, as it is incredibly hard to draw comparisons. Nonetheless, when I looked at what I was doing, I felt I was working harder (or at least more) than some au pairs and being paid less.
I take the kids for a minimum 1 hour 45 minutes in the mornings. Sometimes the Dad is there to help, but sometimes he is not. The Mother always leaves for work before the children are up. I help them with breakfast and get the washed, dressed and shod (old word for putting on shoes), before walking out the door towards school. I then do some shopping and make sure there is enough food/toothpaste/washing powder in the house. I return and take my breakfast while loading the dishwasher and putting on a load of washing. Every Monday and Friday I do a thorough clean of the communal areas (Kitchen, bathrooms, living room). Then I may have classes or a free day. After school I do homework (in Spanish for my children's school - not the language I came here to learn, but I muddle through with my GCSE level Spanish) and entertain the kids with arts & crafts, games, and the always disputed chores, before cooking dinner, bathing the kids and getting them ready for bed. I sometimes even cook dinner for the parents.
I put particular emphasis on the homework for a good reason - I used to be a teacher. I used to teach English and maths to children aged 4-12 in London for £18 (25€) an hour. I also taught history and Latin. this experience was one of the things that made the family choose me over other au pairs. I have not only helped the eldest girl to write and read at a much higher level in English, helped her pass multiple tests in French (not my strong point), and taught her 2 units of maths (including all the times tables), but I have even taught the 4 year old how to write, and am teaching him to read and count. In the last week he has gone from not knowing what an hour is to telling the time correctly. I'm not saying I'm the best teacher in the world, but I think it goes beyond the basic level of supervision of an au pair. In context, that level of effort would cost the parents a lot more if they hired a private tutor in Paris. In addition to this, the parents only have 1hr with the kids when they come home (providing that the kids don't act up at bedtime - which they always do) so if they wanted to teach the kids any of the above it could only happen at weekends. I felt like I had put in a lot of effort into helping the kids, and was consequently not being recompensed accordingly.
Is this selfish? I mean, a family has given me a place in their home, and at their dinner table - shouldn't I be grateful for whatever I get? I am grateful. Deeply so. However I am here on cultural exchange and as an employee too. I should be paid fairly for the work I put in, which in my case is a lot. So I asked for a raise. I asked for 5€ more a week bringing me up to 80€ a week. This is probably one of the most uncomfortable requests I have ever made of someone. It is definitely one of my worse moments as an au pair, and that includes the time I accidentally left a pair of jeans in a whites-only wash and turned the little boy's vests blue. The Dad was ok with my request and said he would talk to the mum, whom he thought would be less receptive to my request. So I went to bed on Friday night, not knowing what her reaction would be, whether I would get more money or be asked to leave.
And do you know what, dear reader?
I got it!
Maybe I really am worth 5€ more a week...
No-one ever said that being an au pair was a way to get rich quick. Yes you are paid, but part of your payment comes in the form of your bed, food, and use of the washing machine. While this is amazing and incredibly generous on behalf of the family, it is difficult to convert into cold hard cash. In a city like Paris, where life is pretty expensive, that can be a problem for a young person who wants to see it all. I was getting by on my payments, not seeing everything, but seeing at least one interesting thing a week, when I got a shock.
On one of my last blog posts, someone mentioned that they felt I was being underpaid for the amount of work I do. A quick survey of other au pair friends and colleagues on my French course confirmed that I was being paid at least 5€ less a week than anyone else, in some cases 10€ less. That's when I finally sat back and thought about money seriously.
When you sign a contract with a family the only advice on payment that you receive is a guideline from the French Government on the minimum payment as dictated by law. What is harder to find out, without sounding creepy and messaging multiple au pairs on Facebook, is what the actual rate of payment is. This is something you can only find out when you get to Paris and hear from other au pairs how they are paid.
Partly I think this is because money is actually hard to quantify in terms of value when you move somewhere new. 75€, the amount I was offered by my family, sounds like a substantial amount, but that is without me having lived in Paris which, as I have said, is very expensive. Hey, I come from a European country with an entirely different currency. 75€ is equivalent to £53 a week - not much. The family agreed to pay my Navigo costs and they are great about making sure that they buy me toothpaste, shampoo, and any food I would like. The issue is that somewhere like Paris (where even national Museums have entrance fees) 75€ is a week is going to limit the amount you can do. You can't get lunch with your language partner and hit the museums at the weekend with enough to buy yourself a new jumper now that it's getting colder. First world problems? Yes! But Paris is a first world city with first world costs, and I want to get the most out my cultural experience here. Plus I am a 25 year old adult with interests, hobbies, and passions. There is only so much enjoyment I can derive from watching all the children's French language disney films. After working a 30 hour week with screaming kids, I don't just want to go out and see Paris, I need to get out the house. My sanity is at stake!
The second difficulty with regard to wages as an au pair, is that you have to stand back and critically assess how much you are worth. I can't speak for other people, but for me this was, and remains, a deeply uncomfortable process. Perhaps I have low self esteem. Perhaps my inherently British self-deprecation is making me resist it, but it is something I had to do.
Every family is different, and has different demands. There are many au pairs who do not work weekends, and many who do. There are many who work mornings, and many who don't. Some au pairs care for 1 child, some care for 4. some have a room in the house, some have a studio apartment far away from the family (and the noise). This great variety of needs is one of the things that makes assessing your worth in cash difficult, as it is incredibly hard to draw comparisons. Nonetheless, when I looked at what I was doing, I felt I was working harder (or at least more) than some au pairs and being paid less.
I take the kids for a minimum 1 hour 45 minutes in the mornings. Sometimes the Dad is there to help, but sometimes he is not. The Mother always leaves for work before the children are up. I help them with breakfast and get the washed, dressed and shod (old word for putting on shoes), before walking out the door towards school. I then do some shopping and make sure there is enough food/toothpaste/washing powder in the house. I return and take my breakfast while loading the dishwasher and putting on a load of washing. Every Monday and Friday I do a thorough clean of the communal areas (Kitchen, bathrooms, living room). Then I may have classes or a free day. After school I do homework (in Spanish for my children's school - not the language I came here to learn, but I muddle through with my GCSE level Spanish) and entertain the kids with arts & crafts, games, and the always disputed chores, before cooking dinner, bathing the kids and getting them ready for bed. I sometimes even cook dinner for the parents.
I put particular emphasis on the homework for a good reason - I used to be a teacher. I used to teach English and maths to children aged 4-12 in London for £18 (25€) an hour. I also taught history and Latin. this experience was one of the things that made the family choose me over other au pairs. I have not only helped the eldest girl to write and read at a much higher level in English, helped her pass multiple tests in French (not my strong point), and taught her 2 units of maths (including all the times tables), but I have even taught the 4 year old how to write, and am teaching him to read and count. In the last week he has gone from not knowing what an hour is to telling the time correctly. I'm not saying I'm the best teacher in the world, but I think it goes beyond the basic level of supervision of an au pair. In context, that level of effort would cost the parents a lot more if they hired a private tutor in Paris. In addition to this, the parents only have 1hr with the kids when they come home (providing that the kids don't act up at bedtime - which they always do) so if they wanted to teach the kids any of the above it could only happen at weekends. I felt like I had put in a lot of effort into helping the kids, and was consequently not being recompensed accordingly.
Is this selfish? I mean, a family has given me a place in their home, and at their dinner table - shouldn't I be grateful for whatever I get? I am grateful. Deeply so. However I am here on cultural exchange and as an employee too. I should be paid fairly for the work I put in, which in my case is a lot. So I asked for a raise. I asked for 5€ more a week bringing me up to 80€ a week. This is probably one of the most uncomfortable requests I have ever made of someone. It is definitely one of my worse moments as an au pair, and that includes the time I accidentally left a pair of jeans in a whites-only wash and turned the little boy's vests blue. The Dad was ok with my request and said he would talk to the mum, whom he thought would be less receptive to my request. So I went to bed on Friday night, not knowing what her reaction would be, whether I would get more money or be asked to leave.
And do you know what, dear reader?
I got it!
Maybe I really am worth 5€ more a week...
1 comment:
Thanks for this. As an au pair-hopeful, it was exactly what I needed to read. I'm currently in the process of finding a French family to work with (using aupairworld.com) and have found that most families are pretty vague about money/salary. Google searching yielded few helpful results re: average au pair salaries in France — most just cited the minimum rates given by the government (66-79€/week, bizarre range of figures). It's very difficult to get an idea of what might constitute a fair salary; this post was helpful!
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