Fortnight of au pair hell begins

This Monday morning I got up, dressed and went to breakfast. Unlike most mornings, I was not greeted with the sound of fighting over cereal, or the microwave pinging as it churns out porridge. The kitchen was dark, and the dad was getting ready for work without being harassed for apple juice or goodbye kisses. But do not be fooled by this illusion of calm, dear reader. The children were asleep, and as I write this are STILL asleep, but they are merely resting in preservation of the two weeks of hell that is about to descend on all the au pairs in Paris today.

A beautiful sunrise to start the week

We are beginning the two week Autumn holiday in France. This means that the children are home all day, while the parents are still working full days (which in France can mean up to 20:00 in the evening). Consequently, au pairs suddenly find themselves forced to become 12hr entertainment machines.

This comes as quite a shock after a month and a bit of doing the school run in the morning and evening, and getting a bit of dinner ready in the evening. The hours in the middle of the day are usually taken up by going to French class (and the obligatory post class coffee) or exploring Paris. Oh and of course there is the occasional day of binge watching Netflix. I can't lie about that. But now we are on duty all day.

I love you more than fromage and wine

You might be thinking "take them to a museum!" or "surely there is an event on?" - and you would be right. There are lots of things going on in Paris for children over this break. However, this two week holiday is happening for all children in France at the same time. Everywhere is full of kids shouting and screaming, and that is quite intimidating for an au pair. Remember, these are not our children we are taking out, they are someone else's, and that can make disciplining and controlling them more difficult. Furthermore, there is only one au pair and more than one child to keep an eye on, often with a great difference in ages (I know one au pair with four children between four and fourteen) - this makes finding activities to satisfy all parties quite difficult. 

Short of that, the au pair must suddenly muster an immense amount of creative energy. Yoghurt pots and string must become telephones, faces must be painted, songs you haven't sung since you were six must be remembered. Can you make a rocket out of a plastic milk bottle? How many portions of vegetables can you hide in lunch AND dinner? Are you feeling brave enough to take them on the long metro journey to the natural history museum? How much chocolate is sufficient to bribe a 4 year old to be quiet? I know you want to turn on the TV and leave them there for four hours, but you can't give in! That is a last resort! You'll regret it when it's been five days of holidays and you need an effective bribe! 

My week is already off to an interesting start. The elder girl is almost hysterical with excitement over holidays, and the little boy has been vomiting for about four days. Our plan to visit the maritime museum has had to be shelved already and we have been threatened with a doctor visit this evening. 

This morning I have managed to finish my breakfast in relative peace, and have finished a cup of tea while it is still hot. 

It feels strange. It's too quiet. Should I check on les petits monstres or should I leave well alone?

I'm just going sit here and have another cup of tea.

And panic. 

So au pairs of Paris and France, what are your plans for the two-week holiday? I wish you all the best of luck and bonne chance! I hope you make it through the fortnight.