So my first month with the family is up. It's been a mad month, and I have learned a lot. To recap what has happened, here is a list of the 30 things I have learned during my first 30 days as an au pair
1) If you have lovely long nails, cut them short. Your manicure will not survive the sheer amount of washing up liquid, cleaning products, and separating lego blocks that you are about to do.
3) If you are squeamish about poo or pee or vomit, get over it quickly. You will encounter some at some point if you are with children under 6.
4) Even when you are off duty you will feel guilty about not helping to cook or load the dishwasher. You shouldn't feel obliged to do it every night. This will just form a bad habit. But it will make you feel really guilty.
5) You need a navigo (the Paris travel card). The carnet t+ may seem like a good idea, that you will save money and only use one when you need it, but you will soon find out that it is easier to use navigo so that you can get anywhere you want at any time. That way you can run out of the house at the last minute any evening, and not spend ages trying to find a card or buy one at the metro station while a shady guy stares at you. Also the host family should pay for this if they expect you to take the kids anywhere.
6) "Si vous êtes sages..."
7) You may think you will do a lot of exploring. You are wrong. In between the legally required French language courses, and making it back in time to pick the children up from school, plus any chores the family may require of you, you will be lucky to sit down for both your coffee AND your lunch.
8) Wednesday is the worst day of the week. Especially if the kids are in a fancy private school. All au pairs in France know this.
9) It is better to start out as a nasty au pair with a lot of discipline and then become nice, rather than the other way around. This will prevent a lot of unpleasant situations later.
10) You have started to lie about how many vegetables are in the pasta...
11) Your bedroom is off limits to the children. You may think its cute they want to come and snuggle on the bed at first. At 7:00 am on a Sunday when you are hungover, you will not.
12) Running out of Pom' Potes is pretty much the worst thing that can happen
13)Texting the parents is a good way to brief them before they get home about any incidents. This allows then to gauge how angry to be when they walk through the door. It is also a useful threat to make children behave.
14) If the children are too quiet - something is definitely up. Check on them.
15) Get to bed early. You may be a night owl, but you will sorely regret it at 7:00 am when you are trying to negotiate a war over cereal, and then again at 19:00 when there is a war over ketchup. Late nights are for Fridays and Saturdays only.
16) If they have any other help around the house (cleaning lady etc) make friends with them. They are most likely a) also foreign and b) willing to share eye-rolls and heavy shoulder shrugging moments with you. They know your pain.
17) Don't come home and put your feet up after dropping the kids at school. Clear the breakfast things, load the dishwasher, put on some washing, make the kids beds. If you can get a routine where you can do this in 20 mins, the rest of your day will go like a dream.
18) You will start to lose weight from walking to class and running after the kids.
19) This weight-loss will stop if you buy a breakfast pain au chocolat from the boulangerie every morning.
20) Parisian kids are super pampered. From smart outfits, to expensive cold medication, there is nothing too good for them. Make sure you let them know you don't roll that way.
21) Be consistent with your routine - make sure they do their homework at the same time, they watch TV at the same time, that you get off work at the same time EVERYDAY. This will prevent a fight later on.
22) The mothers at school have probably invited you for a cafe. You are too intimidated to accept.
23) Tinder is more fun than it should be, though you have not yet had the guts to message any matches in French...
24) The parents are blind to the worst faults of their children most of the time. Don't let them undermine your discipline.
25) The parents are guilty about leaving their children with a stranger for the majority of the day. Sympathise with them.
26) If you 'live in' with the family, you will become jealous of all the 'live out' au pairs who get to leave the madness at the end of the day, can relax in total privacy, never find lego in their bed, and can come home at any time of night.
27) You will stop being jealous of the 'live out' au pairs when you see the fridge piled high with delicious treats, and the mum buys you patisserie on the weekends, and you never have to cook for yourself.
28) You will hide your own stash of goodies in your room.
29) You are not paid enough for the work you do.
30) You will probably start thinking about where you want your next au pair placement to be pretty soon... or you will vow to never have children.
I hope al the au pairs in Paris and elsewhere have had a brilliant start to their placement. Bonne chance for the rest!
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| Coffee is BAE |
1) If you have lovely long nails, cut them short. Your manicure will not survive the sheer amount of washing up liquid, cleaning products, and separating lego blocks that you are about to do.
2) The French really don't eat escargot that much. But they will probably buy some just to try and scare you. Don't be scared, eat those snails, you'll gain some respect. Also they don't taste bad at all, just buttery and garlicky.
3) If you are squeamish about poo or pee or vomit, get over it quickly. You will encounter some at some point if you are with children under 6.
4) Even when you are off duty you will feel guilty about not helping to cook or load the dishwasher. You shouldn't feel obliged to do it every night. This will just form a bad habit. But it will make you feel really guilty.
5) You need a navigo (the Paris travel card). The carnet t+ may seem like a good idea, that you will save money and only use one when you need it, but you will soon find out that it is easier to use navigo so that you can get anywhere you want at any time. That way you can run out of the house at the last minute any evening, and not spend ages trying to find a card or buy one at the metro station while a shady guy stares at you. Also the host family should pay for this if they expect you to take the kids anywhere.
6) "Si vous êtes sages..."
7) You may think you will do a lot of exploring. You are wrong. In between the legally required French language courses, and making it back in time to pick the children up from school, plus any chores the family may require of you, you will be lucky to sit down for both your coffee AND your lunch.
8) Wednesday is the worst day of the week. Especially if the kids are in a fancy private school. All au pairs in France know this.
9) It is better to start out as a nasty au pair with a lot of discipline and then become nice, rather than the other way around. This will prevent a lot of unpleasant situations later.
10) You have started to lie about how many vegetables are in the pasta...
11) Your bedroom is off limits to the children. You may think its cute they want to come and snuggle on the bed at first. At 7:00 am on a Sunday when you are hungover, you will not.
12) Running out of Pom' Potes is pretty much the worst thing that can happen
13)Texting the parents is a good way to brief them before they get home about any incidents. This allows then to gauge how angry to be when they walk through the door. It is also a useful threat to make children behave.
14) If the children are too quiet - something is definitely up. Check on them.
15) Get to bed early. You may be a night owl, but you will sorely regret it at 7:00 am when you are trying to negotiate a war over cereal, and then again at 19:00 when there is a war over ketchup. Late nights are for Fridays and Saturdays only.
16) If they have any other help around the house (cleaning lady etc) make friends with them. They are most likely a) also foreign and b) willing to share eye-rolls and heavy shoulder shrugging moments with you. They know your pain.
17) Don't come home and put your feet up after dropping the kids at school. Clear the breakfast things, load the dishwasher, put on some washing, make the kids beds. If you can get a routine where you can do this in 20 mins, the rest of your day will go like a dream.
18) You will start to lose weight from walking to class and running after the kids.
19) This weight-loss will stop if you buy a breakfast pain au chocolat from the boulangerie every morning.
20) Parisian kids are super pampered. From smart outfits, to expensive cold medication, there is nothing too good for them. Make sure you let them know you don't roll that way.
21) Be consistent with your routine - make sure they do their homework at the same time, they watch TV at the same time, that you get off work at the same time EVERYDAY. This will prevent a fight later on.
22) The mothers at school have probably invited you for a cafe. You are too intimidated to accept.
23) Tinder is more fun than it should be, though you have not yet had the guts to message any matches in French...
24) The parents are blind to the worst faults of their children most of the time. Don't let them undermine your discipline.
25) The parents are guilty about leaving their children with a stranger for the majority of the day. Sympathise with them.
26) If you 'live in' with the family, you will become jealous of all the 'live out' au pairs who get to leave the madness at the end of the day, can relax in total privacy, never find lego in their bed, and can come home at any time of night.
27) You will stop being jealous of the 'live out' au pairs when you see the fridge piled high with delicious treats, and the mum buys you patisserie on the weekends, and you never have to cook for yourself.
28) You will hide your own stash of goodies in your room.
29) You are not paid enough for the work you do.
30) You will probably start thinking about where you want your next au pair placement to be pretty soon... or you will vow to never have children.
I hope al the au pairs in Paris and elsewhere have had a brilliant start to their placement. Bonne chance for the rest!
2 comments:
Sounds like a rather steep learning curve but Paris is one of the nicest cities to au pair in. I'm sti homesick for the place and I left over a year ago! Btw If you are from the UK, there is zero requirement to take French lessons. Like, don't suffer if you don't enjoy them.
Hi. Thanks for the comment (sorry about the lack of embedded replies, I'm doing this in a hurry and haven't updated my settings). I am really enjoying my experience here. There is actually a requirement for you to take a French course if you are from the UK. It is part of being registered to work as an au pair under the DIRECCTE and URSSAF regulations. It applies to all non-native French speakers from anywhere in the world.
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